"How
can I get my Ex back?"
Maybe
your boy-friend does not pay attention. Or, your girl-friend is
always busy? Learn here to use
these Relationship Techniques to heal a broken relationship. Make
a marriage alive and great again.
Are
you serious about getting your boy-friend and girl-friend back,
back into your life with real love and sharing? If you are
discuss together and use the Relationship Techniques described
here. If your boyfriend will not listen or if you want a road
map, then read about then get The
Magic of Making Up.
“How can we Fall in Love again?”
Learn
here about 5 Relationship Techniques and Ideas. Deepen your love.
Improve your Marriage and to Fall in Love again.
How
can you Fall in Love Again?
You
can get your boy-friend, girl-friend or husband, wife
back. You can even Fall in Love again. Relationship
techniques can help. Read here about 5 Techniques I/ we used to
Improve Understanding in part by listening better and by
deepening the sharing of day-to-day life.
I was
married the first time to C for 17 years. The second time, I was
married to A for 14 years. We learned a few things that helped.
In
each Marriage, we were able to Fall in Love again more than
one time.
Be
excited again. Your husband should feel like a boy-friend who
excites you.
In
fact, even today, we love each other with Filial Love, like a
brother and sister might love. The In Love Feeling is a
combination of Eros and Filial Love. With
A, we called a Cocoon. A was “my Lady” and felt safe
and commitment.
The In
Love feeling lasted about 3 to 6 months each time. Then,
day-to-day life cooled the In Love feeling and the Eros. To keep
the In Love feeling going, with A, we stopped often on each long
drive. Why? We stopped just to Hug, to make the Cocoon
stronger before we continued on.
The 5
Relationship Techniques
Here
are Five Methods that improved our Marriage Relationship, that
even helped us Fall in Love again. These
relationship techniques can help deepen your sharing of
day-to-day life, to Increase your Love and Bond.
Both
need to be Heard in a healthy relationship. It is normal for the
Woman, the girl-friend, to seek current understanding. The man,
the boy-friend, focuses on Action. Help your girl-friend to Be
and Feel Heard. Learn how to Listen Actively at our
Active
Listening page.
2.
Relationship Technique - Interviewing
Interview
each other, perhaps for 10 or 20 minutes once per month. Listen
about Goals for Next month and how he, she did last month. To
understand is the task of the Interviewer. It helps to use
Categories like Personal Health, The Children, Our Relationship,
Work, Family Calendar.
With
C, we enjoyed interviewing each other. It worked well. She is a
great Organizer, even for large events. With A, she would not do
this; so, we did so informally only.
3.
Relationship Technique – Spooning
for Couples.
Lay
down behind your boy-friend or girl-friend. Form your body around
her. Both of you should take turns to spoon each other most every
night. It can help to form a feeling like a Cocoon. The receiver
of the Spoon feels Protected and Loved. The one Spooning feels –
if he is awake – Cherishing her, feeling grateful she is
here with you.
The
Spooning Affects are better if you align breathing, but it is not
necessary.
4.
Relationship Technique – Gazing
for Couples – Active Alignment
Gazing
is a challenge. Stop gazing at any time if uncomfortable.
Before
you start, you both get calm first by deep, even breathing.
a. Sit
facing each other close enough to hold hands, in chairs or on the
floor.
b.
Hold right hand to right hand.
c.
Then, look calmly into the eyes of the other with slow even
breathing.
d. Let
one, normally Him, also follow Her breathing to align breathing.
Gaze
for 1 minute only the first time. Then talk about it.
For a
person to look into your eyes for a period is a privilege you
grant. It is unusual. “Staring” it is called when it
is unwanted.
e.
Keep your thoughts always coming back to the beautiful face you
now see. You are grateful for your girl-friend.
f. Do
not Talk while Gazing. Be Quiet. Behold the other.
g.
Deepen your breaths. Perhaps you start with a breath every 3
seconds and stretch over time to 10 seconds per cycle of breath
in and out.
The
Breath In should be faster than the breath out. In might take 1
or 2 seconds; hold for 5 and release the breath for 3 seconds or
so, slowly.
Gazing
can trigger many feelings. Remember to Stop at any time.
5.
Relationship Technique – Share Work at Home
This
means to share cooking, cleaning and what needs doing. Cooking
together can be fun, a cause of interaction. Shared experiences
are a big part of a healthy relationship. Reading out loud can be
nice, particularly at the end of the day. Think of the shared
experiences you liked when you were In Love. Did you Take Walks,
go for a Swim, throw a Ball?
For
me, while married to C, I did the sharing but not my fair share
of work alone. I changed how I responded to Doing
Chores.
I was
Lazy, a Shirker. I learned Why. How did I change? What Motivates
me and how am I affected?
 I
read Abraham Maslow's list of subtle Being Value Motivations at
the Self-Actualization level there are 18 different possible
Motivations. Please see my
Abraham Maslow Motivation Article, “Finding Enthusiasm in
Daily Life.”
Why
was I Lazy? Effortless Motivates me a lot. Seeing that being Lazy
was Not Just, one day I walked into the kitchen. The dishes
needed to be washed; cleaning the dishes from or 6 wonderful
children seemed never ending. I started to walk away to pretend I
did not know. I saw the dishes and thought, "Be a Doer not a
Shirker, Bruce." "Why not? Be a Pitch-In person."
So,
I did. Right then and there I changed. I have helped with chores
even without being asked, ever since then.
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